How much should my ex-partner give as financial support?

grabbed from rolling out.com
grabbed from rolling out.com

Dear Kuya D.

My name is Amelita Orpiano from Tarlac, just call me Amor for short. I have a partner for ten (10) years but we are not married. We have a five (5) year old child out of the said relationship. However, two (2) years ago, we decided to part ways due to irreconcilable differences. Since then, he’s been giving my child and I a monthly financial support of TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00).

Recently, I learned that my ex-partner Eduardo, already got married to a girl named Claudia who just gave birth yesterday. Eduardo called me and said that our monthly support will now be reduced to FIVE THOUSAND PESOS (P5,000.00). I screamed NOOOOOOOOO! But he insisted because according to him, he now has another child and a wife to support.

I have a plan. I wanted to enter into an agreement with him regarding our monthly support and that I wanted for it to remain TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00). What should I do? Please tell me!

Dear Amor,

Kalma lang po. Reading your story, let me answer the following questions for you:

  • Are you entitled for support from your ex-partner?
  • Is your child entitled for support?
  • Can he reduce the current monthly TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00) financial support that you are receiving from him?
  • Can you enter into agreement for it to remain TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00)?
  • Does the law provide for a fixed amount of support?

Let me discuss to you what support is.

What is support?

    Support comprises everything indispensable for sustenance, dwelling, clothing, medical attendance, education and transportation in keeping with the financial capacity of the family. (Art. 194, Family Code)

1) Are you entitled for support from your ex-partner?

I’m sorry to say but “You” are not entitled for support from your ex-partner. The law provides under Article 195 of the Family Code that only:

  • Spouses;
  • Legitimate ascendants and descendants;
  • Parents and their legitimate children and the legitimate and illegitimate children of the latter; and
  • Legitimate brothers and sisters, whether of the full of half-blood. (Art. 195, Family Code)

are obliged to support each other. Considering that you are not the spouse, your ex-partner is not obliged to support you.

2) Is your child entitled for support?

Definitely, your child is entitled for support and that is also based on Article 195 of the Family Code as provided above.

3) Can he reduce the current monthly TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00) financial support that you are receiving from him?

Yes. The law provides that support shall be increased or reduced proportionately, according to the increase/or reduction of necessities of the recipient and the resources or means of the person obliged. (Art. 202, Family Code)

 Since you mentioned that Claudia, Eduardo’s wife just gave birth then it is understood that the resources of your ex-partner will now be divided in accordance to the needs of his family and his child with you.  Thus, the TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00) monthly support that your child is receiving may be reduced.  Of course, it will be a different story if your ex-partner’s salary allows or makes it possible for the P10,000.00 monthly support to be maintained.

4) Can you enter into agreement for it to remain TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00)?

Yes. You can always enter into an agreement for the financial support to remain TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00) but remember that there is a provision that says that support can also be increased or reduced depending on the resources or means of the person obliged.

So, even if you have a written agreement that the monthly support shall be TEN THOUSAND PESOS (P10,000.00) but the salary of the person obliged to support is, for instance, TWENTY THOUSAND PESOS (20,000.00) and he is also supporting a wife and a child, then it wouldn’t be fair that you will be getting half of his salary.

5) Does the law provide for a fixed amount of support?

No. It shall be in proportion to the resources or means of the giver and to the necessities of the recipient. (Art. 201, Family Code)

PRACTICAL ADVICE:

Sit down with your ex-partner and show him a breakdown of the needs of your child. It will be a better approach that way rather than insisting for a fixed amount with the other party wondering if the said amount is being spent properly. The normal tendency of the support giver is to think that you are not spending everything for your child and that you are using the money for other purposes. So the best solution is to back up your demand with some details.

Also, it is for the best interest of your child that you remain friends with your ex-partner so that it will not be heavy on his heart to be handing you your child’s financial support. It is true that the money goes to his child and he shouldn’t be complaining but it will still be different if the person managing his child’s money accepts it with a smile. Besides, you have both decided to separate ways so just maintain a friendly relationship for you and your child’s sake.

I hope I was able to help you with your concern Amor. If you have some clarifications, just drop a personal message on my facebook page and remember that the above advise is only based on the story you have provided.  Meanwhile, if you want to be relieved from stress, read some of my articles under HUMOR category.

Thank you very much and wishing you good life ahead. 🙂

LEGAL NA REMEDYO KUNG INUTUSAN KA NI MISTER NA I-TEXT ANG KANYANG KABIT.

Ano ang gagawin mo kung inutusan ka ng asawa mo na itext ang kanyang kalaguyo?

Dear Kuya D,

twowives
Kunyari lang si Milagring si Kaye Abad.

Isa po akong mapagmahal na asawa na itago nalang natin sa pangalang Milagring. Vendor po ako dito sa Baguio City Market. Thirty years na po kaming kasal ng aking mister at nabiyayaan po kami ng tatlong anak. Masipag po ang aking asawa at hindi naman nagkukulang sa suporta. Ang problema lang po ay nambabae siya ng lantaran. May time pa po na pinapatext po niya sa akin ang kanyang kalaguyo at sabihin ko daw sa kanya kung saan daw sila magkikita. Ako naman si tanga at tinetext ko naman po. Nasasaktan po ako, ayoko po sanang maghiwalay kami pero nasasaktan po talaga ako sa kanyang ginagawa.

snake1
Exhibit A, ito po ang gamit ni Milagring na cellphone para itext ang kalaguyo ng kanyang asawa. Medyo mas naging iritable siya dahil kasalukuyan siyang naglalaro ng SNAKE sa mga panahong iyon.

Ano po ba ang pwede kong gawin?

Dear Milagring,

First, gaya ng sinabi mo, di ko ilalahad ang iyong tunay na pangalan kaya itinago kita sa pangalang Milagring. Sana ay nagustuhan mo ang iyong screen name sakaling madiscover ka at maging artista.

Anyways, salamat sa iyong makabagbag damdamin na kwento. Ngayon, ano ba ang pwede mong gawin?

Let me dissect the facts. Ayon sa iyong liham, ito ang aking mga naintindihan:

  • Walang problema sa suporta dahil hindi naman nagkukulang ang iyong asawa, so di rin kita papayuhan na mag file ng petition for support.
  • Inuutusan ka ng iyong asawa na itext ang kanyang kalaguyo at sabihin dito kung saan sila magkikita. – Aba ate, hindi ko alam kung saan ka humugot ng lakas para makapagsend ng message. Kung hindi mo kayang suwayin ang iyong asawa sa bagay na ito pwede mo namang sabihin na “hon wala akong load”.
  • Gusto mo lang magbago ang iyong asawa at ayaw mong maghiwalay kayo pero nasasaktan ka sa kanyang ginagawa. – If that is the case, maganda yan kasi may chance pa naman na magbago ang isang tao. Mag-usap usap kayong magpapamilya at ayusin ang situation.

In case na hindi naman na talaga siya magbago eto ang mga legal actions na pwede mong gawin:

  • Pwede kang magfile ng Annulment. Ilahad mo sa iyong abogado ang kwento ng inyong naudlot na pagmamahalan para makita niya kung anong grounds ang gagamitin niya at kung meron man. Paalala lang Milagring (hindi mo totoong pangalan) na ang pambabae ay hindi grounds upang ma-annul ang inyong marriage. Explore mo lang ng abogado mo kasi di kumpleto yung kwento mo para masabi ko kung may grounds ka ba o wala. Gagawin mo lang naman ito kung gusto mo pang mag-re-marry or if you have other plans in life.

Ito ang matitindi –

  • Mag-file ng case under Violence Against Women and their Children or R.A. 9262.

Ayon sa batas:

            Sec. 5. Acts of Violence Against Women and Their Children. – The crime of violence against women and their children is committed through any of the following acts:

            xxx

            (h) Engaging in purposeful, knowing, or reckless conduct, personally or through another, that alarms or causes substantial emotional or psychological distress to the woman or her child. xxx

            xxx

            (i) Causing mental or emotional anguish, public ridicule or humiliation to the woman or her child, including but not limited to, repeated verbal and emotional abuse, xxx

Dun palang sa pag-utos niya sa iyo na pagtext sa kanyang kalaguyo, I assume na you are emotionally battered. If you are, then you should go through psychological evaluation para maipakita ito at para may katibayan ka na ikaw nga ay nagsa-suffer ng emotional or psychological distress. Kung wala kasi iyan, pwede ka naman pa rin mag-file kaya lang baka madismiss lang sa prosecutor’s office.

Kung sakaling naging successful ang iyong pagfile sa prosecutor’s office at umakyat ito sa korte, maaring makulong and iyong asawa ng 6 years and 1 day to 12 years kung napatunayang guilty siya. Kaya huwag din padalos dalos, baka mamaya e pwede naman pala kayong mag-usap lang muna. Marami kasing mga cases na ganito na nagfa-file ang mga babae tapos nakakatawa kasi sila rin lang magbabayad ng piyansa para makalabas ang kanilang asawa, kaya usap muna.

  • Mag-file ng Concubinage case:

Sino ang liable dito? Ang iyong asawa at ang kanyang kalaguyo na tinetext mo.

Ano ang mga dapat mong patunayan para maparusahan ang iyong asawa sa kasong ito?

  1. Na kasal kayo ng iyong asawa;
  2. At ginawa niya ang mga sumusunod na bagay:
  • Ibinahay niya ang kanyang kalaguyo sa inyong pamamahay;
  • Nakipagtalik siya sa isang ma-iskandalong sitwasyon sa isang babae na hindi niya asawa (malamang hindi ikaw yun);
  • Ibinahay niya ang isang babae at nakatira sila doon na parang mag-asawa.

3. Para sa babae, dapat alam niya na may asawa ang iyong asawa.

Medyo mahirap lang mapatunayan ang concubinage. Pero kung nag-uumapaw naman ang iyong ebidensiya ay okay lang.

Kung ako lang ang tatanungin, balik parin tayo sa dapat mag-usap muna kayo kesa magkaso-kaso dahil probationable lang ang kasong concubinage. Ano ang ibig sabihin ng probationable? Sa mga kasong 6 years below ang kulong, pwede silang mag-apply for probation at di sila makukulong. Di sila makukulong pero magrereport report lang sila sa probation office to attend activities for the purpose of reformation. So baka mainis ka lang kung makalaya rin lang yung asawa mo. Sa babae naman e destierro lang o pagsasabihan lang siyang magpakalayo-layo at pagbabawalang lumapit sa inyo. At ang piyansa? Mga 10k na pwedeng ma-reduce pa to 5k.

So ayan, Milagring, sana ay medyo naliwanagan ka after kong maibigay ang iyong mga choices. If I were you, try niyo muna mag-usap at huwag ka nang pumayag na utusan kang itext mo ang kanyang kalaguyo. Huwag mong ipapahalata na naka-unli text ka dahil for sure baka hindi ka makatanggi.

Note: Ang payong legal na ito ay base lang sa kwentong naibigay ni Milagring at maaring magbago kung may karagdagang kwento.